Walking with Destiny on One Shoulder, Death on the Other
Those of you who have been with me for a while know I’m interested in the questions that live underneath the work I teach. Who are we becoming? What is ours to give? What happens when we listen beyond what we already know?
Earlier this year, when Dolly Parton, Gloria Steinem, Wendell Berry and Dr. Larry Dossey died within days of one another, I wrote about the medicine of their lives and the gifts we might claim and carry forward from their lives. [When Elders Become Ancestors: Claiming Gloria, Dolly, Wendell & Larry’s Medicine]
Now the question of medicine has come closer to home.
Dr. Craig Weiner 1961-2026
My friend Craig Weiner, DC died suddenly in his mid-60s, fully engaged in his life and work and expressing who he was with enormous joy and generosity. And then he was gone.
A few days after learning of Craig’s passing, I was with Stephen Jenkinson, the Canadian author, teacher and storyteller whose work explores death, grief and eldership. Stephen has been visited by what he calls “the rough gods” with a diagnosis of Parkinson’s. The capacities that have carried his work into the world are changing before us.
Stephen said the good days take care of themselves. That left me thinking about the bad ones. The good days allow us to enjoy the life we have. The hard ones are where our souls ask us to grow, enlarging the perspective from which we understand life.
Stephen is the consummate storyteller, and even the stories about receiving a devastating diagnosis and the treatments he explored were tinged with hilarity amidst the stark humanity and humility of his condition. The fact he calls his body “the bone house” demonstrates his capacity to meet even mortality with humor in the most harrowing circumstances without diminishing their gravity.
As I listened, I found myself thinking about Original Medicine. For years I have taught that each of us carries Original Medicine—the gifts and qualities uniquely ours to express in the world. If we don’t express that Medicine, it is lost to the world for all time. Our medicine is not what we do. It is what we bring to all parts of our lives when we show up at our best. It can find many forms of expression over a lifetime.
Kimberly Johnson and Stephen Jenkinson, “Shifting Shards in the Bonehouse”
Sharing the stage with Stephen was Kimberly Johnson, my former Transformational Speaking client. As Stephen spoke of navigating his diagnosis, Kimberly shared what it means to support him as her teacher and elder, all the while safeguarding both his energy and the conversation. I knew Kimberly’s Original Medicine when she named it in my work eight years ago. At 52, she has a marriage, a family, her own work and a full life. Her devotion to Stephen as her elder is but one expression of her medicine.
I was watching medicine meet medicine.
Stephen’s capacities are changing. His medicine is strong. Kimberly’s medicine helps create conditions for him to continue offering his.
Craig’s life ended while his capacities were still fully expressed. Stephen’s capacities are changing before his life ends. We don’t get to choose the road we will travel.
And once again I was remembering my great teacher Angeles Arrien, who taught us to walk with Death on one shoulder and Destiny on the other. I have known that teaching for decades. It’s very real now.
Death asks: Are you using your time wisely?
Destiny asks: Are you doing what you were put here to do?
I think of Destiny as Life Purpose. Purpose without death can become endless doing; death without purpose can become an endless organ recital with daily bulletins.
Death asks how we’re spending our finite time. Destiny asks whether we’re spending it on what is truly ours to give.
Knowing our Original Medicine helps us answer those questions, guiding what we say yes to—and what we say no to.
The expression of our medicine will take different forms over a lifetime, as we grow and as our capacities change.
But the medicine endures.
© 2026 Real Speaking LLC
Our medicine endures, but the human being through whom it comes needs tending! Watch for Part Two, where I’ll explore personal sustainability, changing capacities, and what it means to practice Principle #6 of Transformational Speaking: extreme cherishment of our precious, worthy selves. It’s what Life has been teaching me this year.
If you have a longing to find your Original Medicine, you can learn about my foundational teaching here.
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